3 Proven Strategies to Guide You Through Discomfort and Growth

Keep a Clear Head by Slowing Down to Breathe

Do you ever notice that the most challenging times in your life tend to be the most transformational?

It’s those times when you feel stuck or paralyzed by a big decision, like your whole world is collapsing, that turns out to be the biggest blessing in disguise.

I’m sure you can think back to a couple of moments like that in your life. The seemingly impossible to go through that leave you relieved and positive after the dust has settled.

Everyone has a story or time when this has been true for them. It’s part of growth. So why then do we continuously resist adversity and why is it so hard to stay positive when we know the light is just beyond the horizon?

I am one of those people I call a “fence sitter”. When I need to make a decision I sit on it far too long, and when I finally make a choice it always feels like a huge weight has been lifted. I know this, yet my programming runs deep. I worry, stress, avoid until it becomes too much and then ultimately choose what I knew was the right choice months ago.

Ugh. The struggle is real.

But over the years, I’ve learned simple strategies through breathwork that allow me to get out of my head and feel into what my subconscious already knows. Feeling into my body to help guide my choices and sitting with discomfort in a healthy way has been a part of my emotional development.

Here are 3 proven strategies I use to guide me through those impossible times with a clear head.

1. Question the feeling, not the action

If you’re in a season of stress, change, or feeling resistance towards the inevitable in your life, it might be time to question the feelings or emotions associated with the problem by asking better questions. Notice the origin. For instance, if you’re upset and can’t let go of the way someone treated you or something someone said, question why it bothers you, and why you can’t let it go, instead of continually playing it out in your head over and over.

We like to romanticize the past, even things we didn’t like about it! This traps us into who we were at that time. You need to jump off that train by asking yourself better questions. Questions that inspire you instead of holding you back.

By acknowledging the negative thoughts and stories running through your head you become more aware of them and then can choose to consciously change or redirect these thoughts by asking yourself why this thought is there. Guiding you to the root, and then reforming a healthier mindset.

This can be challenging when you are in a low place. By training yourself to notice, stop, and redirect in the moment you will begin to move through challenges faster and with less weight holding you down.

Slow deep breathing is a great tool to help you identify the story in your head, question it, and redirect when needed.

2. Slow down and Breathe

If you’ve ever been around a child in the middle of or right before a complete breakdown, then you’ve heard the adults around reminding them to breathe. We do this because we can see in a child that…

1. they are turning red.
2. they don’t have the coping skills (yet).
3. they will feel better by slowing down their nervous system and breathing.

So why isn’t anyone reminding us to breathe? Our nervous system needs to be regulated too! We are overwhelmed as adults just as much as kids. We don’t have great coping mechanisms so we bury things inside. Hold it in or rage it out. Both are unhealthy.

What if you could stop in the midst of discomfort and breathe?

This has been one of the greatest gifts of my life. As someone who is quick to tears, I learned early in life that it was more important for me to bury my emotions that to risk those around me feeling uncomfortable by my strong feelings: something that kept me small and scared. So much so that I quit speaking up at all at home or in the office for fear of looking weak and making others uncomfortable.

It was breathwork that helped me grow. Helping me to see that what I lacked was emotional regulation. And it could be regulated by simply slowing down and taking some deep breaths.

The moment I felt my voice start to quiver in a hard conversation I would pause, and take a couple of breaths. What I discovered was amazing! I was able to get through this discussion without crying and feeling proud I spoke my truth.

It takes work. It’s hard to slow down when your mind is running on impact. It takes practice to not say anything and breathe. Holding that space is a practice in taking back your power.

You are regulating your nervous system and getting your message out. A much healthier way to live. Oh and umm… it’s okay to let others be uncomfortable. You regulate you, and let them learn to regulate themselves.

3. Join communities that support and uplift you

We are all carrying around a tremendous amount of pain and shame that no one is talking about. When you are in a rut one of the best things you can do for yourself is to surround yourself with people who uplift and support you.

Talk about what’s going on. Process through the muck. You might even find that once you say something out loud it becomes obvious what your next steps are. You will experience significant growth from sharing your story and processing it. Far more beneficial than being closed off, better than, and completely overwhelmed because you’ve siloed yourself from the world.

This takes vulnerability and strength. This is a step in learning to be okay with the uncomfortable and will move you into a new league of support that guides you to do so much more than you could do on your own. It starts with finding people who help you feel safe to explore and express what’s going on inside.

Keep a clear head by slowing down to breathe

All of these strategies can be regulated through your breath.

1. Breathwork clears your head so you can process information with clarity. This helps you to ask better questions and identify the root of what’s going on.
2. Slow down your nervous system, your thoughts, and your heartbeat by slowing down your breath. In the moment you can redirect your breath helping you to be less reactive.
3. Finding others that support and uplift you keeps your breath calm because you are in a safe space.

Looking for a great way to slow down and breathe? Try Triangle breathing and reach out. I’m a breath coach! I help people just like you regulate their nervous system all the time.

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