Abandon Your Beliefs About What Life Should Look Like by a Certain Age.

Start Embracing the Life You Lead No Matter What Others Say

Have you ever found yourself reading a blog about do’s and don’ts? You click on it because it says something catchy about things somebody your age should know. Things like ”10 Fashion mistakes to avoid in Your thirties”.

I am guilty of falling into these traps.

I hate these articles! They belong in fashion magazines because they are designed to display a portrait of who they think you should or should not be.

It’s gross, yet catchy.

I first realized that this annoyed me when I was knee deep in an article about things you should ditch by your 40’s. I had just turned 40, which felt like a pretty big deal so I was hyper aware of what is expected of a 40-something.

This 32 year old writer went on and on about letting childish home decor go. Things like a lava lamp should be tossed out along with the futon. All things considered child’s play to this savvy writer.

Immediately I’m triggered.

What if this 40-something has kids? Wouldn’t these things be appropriate in a colorful family home of the 40-something? Even if you don’t have kids, who’s to say that my 40 year old ass needs or wants to live in a chic home? White walls, with light air coming through the window on all my beige furniture sounds like a nightmare.

I like color! I like cozy. And I like my freakin’ lava lamp! It’s a perfect nightlight in my extremely dark bedroom.

Screw you 32.

And then there was the article about what women over 50 shouldn’t do. Things like bright nail polish, because it would bring too much attention to your old hands.

Huh?

Seriously. Stop.

I hit my wall yesterday when I saw another one of these hot titles.

10 things everyone should know by the time they’re 30.

I didn’t read it. It’s too late for me anyway.

The bigger question here is why do we feel the need to box in other people? Where do people get the authority to tell you what you should and shouldn’t be doing with your life? Let alone your nail color or home decor?

And do these people think they’re being helpful? Or are they just so desperate for something in their industry to write about that they have to set a list of do’s and don’ts?

Listen, I work with a lot of artists. I’m a yoga teacher and a breath coach. I tell people do’s and don’t all the time when it is necessary for their own growth.

I’m also the type who never likes to interfere on someone’s personal experience. You do you man.

Am I alone here?

Does it seem crazy to anyone else that someone has the authority to tell you how you should show up in your own life based on their experiences?

I say no.

I say wear the red nail polish and be proud of the wrinkles in your hands. I say it’s okay to not have a financial plan at 30. I say it’s fine to have a lava lamp well into your 40’s if it makes you happy.

Break out of the boxes set for you. Don’t listen to the noise of some random person’s ideas of what your life should look and feel like.

Recently I was reminded of a beautiful song that came out in the late 90’s called The Sunscreen Song by Baz Luhrmann. It goes through the meandering thoughts of this guy’s experience in life.

I listen today, and through tears I can report it is solid gold.

Hearing it 20-something years later left me seeing and feeling it all from a new and deeper perspective. Not to take away from the 19-year-old me when I first heard it.

Here’s a dude breaking it down. Reminding us that no matter what happens in your life the point is to enjoy it. Be the broken human that you are and quit listening to what everyone in the world is telling you you should be.

How you experience this world is your choice.

You get to decide what your life looks like. Some things are out of your control, so don’t worry about them.

Think about every worry you’ve ever had.

• Did you live through it?
• Did you grow from it?
• Did it make you a wiser person?
• Did it allow you the tools to move past old beliefs?
• Did it teach you humility and understanding?

I am not married, I don’t have kids, I’m in my early 40’s, I have no idea what the next 10 years of my life will bring.

I do know that the 20-year-old me knew exactly what she was doing and she was scared all the time. Scared she was going to let someone down, or say the wrong thing, or mess up and not have a family or career by the dreaded age of 40.

I look back on her with wonder. I see so much missed potential because of fear of what others might have thought. I see a stuck girl trying to live for her parents instead of herself. And I’m so happy I was able to break through those mindsets and become comfortable with the life and human I am today.

• Still uncertain
• Still wondering where my life is headed
• Still using my lava lamp.

But I do know for certain that I am no longer limited by the beliefs of others. I am no longer afraid of what others might think. I am no longer sitting quietly in a box set by others to just fade into the backdrop.

This isn’t me telling you to be like me.

Don’t.

This is me telling you to tune out the noise that is trapping you into the beliefs of others and live the adventures waiting inside of yourself.

And if you find a lava lamp on your bed stand at 10, 75, or anywhere in between, know that that is perfectly acceptable and that you are one of my kind.