Be the G.O.A.T. of Your Own Experience

Lessons from an 11-year-old boy

The confidence that pours out of my 11-year-old nephew is unparalleled by anyone I’ve ever known before. This coming from someone who spent years behind a bar listening to grown men argue over their pints about how they are actually the smartest person they know. I admire the confidence of men and often wonder if their confidence comes from an abundance of love growing up from the women who adored them as a child or something in their wiring?

Women, as a general note, do not possess this trait. In fact, we women learn something very different growing up. Society, boys, school, tv, and even those loving women who raised us show us a different story. Then you pair our wiring to that and get a completely different way of looking at the world.

I’m in my mid-forties now and my nephew says things that bring me back to grade school. I think about all those times some snot-nosed little turd said something stupid that I actually believed. He’ll say things with such confidence with absolutely no information to back it up and I wonder back 30 years and think how my classmates’ zero fact-based confidence chipped away at my own. How I believed some no-brain 6th grader when he laughed at me for not knowing something that he himself knew nothing about.

I’ve always owned my unique being. Clear to me from an early age that I danced to a beat no one else could hear. I too was overly confident for no reason as a child, but I kept my thoughts inside because I knew they were different, and I learned early that my way of doing things and thinking wasn’t the right way.

“Boys will be boys” was the saying for their rambunctious behavior, where we girls were told to act like ladies, keep quiet, and behave.

Boys are taught this too, but I understand now that girls are naturally better listeners and programmed to fit a mold. All that energy surging through young boys prevents them from hearing all the nonsense pushed upon them. Allowing them to keep and express their confidence longer than most girls.

I learned this from the playground. The social structure kids navigate through is a daily obstacle course. It is rearranged by those we deem cool and we all show up to play the game. Hoping we’re not the ones to make the wrong move or say the wrong thing and be laughed at by those who, I now know, were just as scared and uncertain about things as myself.

I learned this from my nephew. He proudly shares his greatness in any given moment. His term for greatness is “the G.O.A.T.” The greatest of all time. He’s the G.O.A.T. at everything he does. Even with the things he’s never done, he proclaims how easy it is and that he is the best at it.

I found an old flower loom in the thrift store and bought it. I thought it might be a fun thing to do with my niece. My nephew saw what we were doing and grabbed one of the looms. He sat frustrated for a good hour trying to figure it out. Not listening and refusing any help or instruction. Turning red in the face and on the verge of tears he finally got the rhythm down. Finally accepting some tips so he could complete a very novice attempt at his first flower. I was proud he stuck it out and figured it out. It’s rewarding to watch his mind work through the frustration and get it. Now as he finishes and begins to pull it off the form he starts singing about being the G.O.A.T. of flower looms.

My niece and I laugh, and I think man I would love to have that kid's confidence. There are things I have been practicing for years that I still wouldn’t have the audacity to proclaim mastery of. Yet here’s this skinny little 11-year-old, happy as a clam because he figured something out and shares his thoughts on his awesomeness openly with anyone who will listen. It’s amazing.

Never afraid to try new things or look silly, this kid knows he’s going to succeed. Still at an age where his frustration often leads to tears, but he perseveres. He knows he will land on top and he does. I can still beat him 9 out of 10 times at checkers, but that 10th time he will parade around like a king. Every time I smile and think I could use some of that.

I consider myself of average confidence as time and experience have humbled me. I am not afraid to try new things, but it always comes with a voice of caution.

• What will my family think?
• What if I fail again?
• What if I can’t handle it?
• What if I look like an idiot?
• What if they laugh at me?
• What if I go broke?

I wonder if my nephew has ever had these thoughts. I wonder if he has them and does it anyway. I wonder why I focus on lack when he so clearly focuses on success.

I wonder what shift needs to take place in me so I can start seeing success over lack.

This is the greatest gift my nephew has offered me in his 11 years. His contagious laugh and resilient spirit just short of his confidence. As an upbeat individual, I never realized how lack based my mind was until I was shown this gift.

How would your life change if you adapted this mind-shift?

What would happen if just for today you decided to…

• Walk into a room with the confidence of being the G.O.A.T
• Made bold statements
• Start each action by saying “Easy”
• Celebrated all your successes

How much would your life change if you paraded around like a peacock every time you had a challenging conversation or completed a hard task?

This is my current challenge. To move through my life boldly. Leaving behind the maybe’s, the can’ts, the doubts, the I’m uncertain and just go for it. Failing upwards with no apologies.

Undo the layers that are holding you back and be the G.O.A.T. of your own experience.

Fail at something you love instead of slinking around being mediocre at something you hate. Watch as your world opens up in new ways as you move from doubt to confidence simply by turning your focus towards success.

Find someone in your life who showcases confidence and watch them without judgment. Use them as a model for growth. You will find that they are often full of shit, but it’s their shit and they confidently own it. It’s powerful.

My nephew is the G.O.A.T. of helping me to stand taller. Reminding me of the power of a confident mindset. Whenever I feel as though I am the only one not in on life’s great secrets I can reflect back to my nephew and remember that no one knows what they’re talking about, so why not do it boldly and with confidence. Others look for confidence because they themselves are unsure and scared. So why not be a leader in the confidence game? Lead others to find their own greatness the way my nephew is helping me find mine.