Success, Fulfillment, and Our Search for A More Purposeful Life

Finding Our Happiness Through a Sense of Purpose

We have a problem in this country. We often confuse success with fulfillment and believe that happiness is determined by how successful you are rather than how fulfilled you are.

There is no worse critic than the one in my head. So after decades of listening to self-help tapes (yes tapes, I’m old) and reading all the books on goal-setting and success, I find myself asking…

Why isn’t any of this stuff working for me?

• I’m not lazy.
• I’m not dumb.
• I’m not afraid to make changes.
• And I live with an open heart.

So why?

The problem was that I was confusing success with fulfillment and it was leaving me empty.

The difference?

Success and fulfillment are often used interchangeably when they actually have different meanings.

Success is often put in terms of metrics like achieving goals.

Success can be measured and builds one step onto the next. Typically you hear “success stories” applied to certain accomplishments like career or financial achievements. Success can also be put in measurable terms for personal matters too like completing a marathon or having a successful marriage.

Success is a wonderful thing because it builds our confidence and shows us opportunities for growth that we might not have found without the work that goes into making anything successful.

Yet study after study will show us that success alone doesn’t necessarily bring happiness, or a sense of purpose to our lives.

Fulfillment, on the other hand, is that sense of satisfaction and meaning we get from living a life that is aligned with our values, and our beliefs, that gives us purpose.

Fulfillment can be found in your home life, your career, relationships, or hobbies. Fulfillment gives you a sense of connection to a higher purpose. And you can’t measure fulfillment in the same way because it isn’t necessarily tied to the outer world of material possessions, but rather to a sense of internal satisfaction and peace.

Find Your Purpose

In our society, we tend to focus on achievement. We are social by nature so we want to have and achieve what others have. From a very young age, we are taught that being a doctor is of greater value than being an artist. That being number one in a sport is more important than enjoying it. That time spent walking with our thoughts could be better spent reading a book.

All this focus on the external is leaving us empty. NFL agent Nicole Lynn was the first black woman to represent a top 3 draft pick and was named Women of the Year twice! In a recent interview with the School of Greatness, she tells her story of all the success she was having and how it became the least fulfilling time of her life. She lost her spark and knew she needed to return to a purpose to be happy.

When you look around at the people around you it’s easy to see those who you deem successful, but it’s harder to recognize those who are fulfilled because that’s an inside job.

One can be successful while being completely unfulfilled, and vice versa.

Success Matters

Because success often represents the achievements and goals of our life it gives us a sense of accomplishment and self-worth. It feels good to get that external recognition and builds our self-esteem.

Success often comes with new opportunities and resources that might not otherwise be available. Things like…

• Financial stability
• Job promotions
• Personal growth

Success can even be viewed as proof that your efforts and abilities have been put to good use.

Many people aspire to be successful because it allows them to have a greater impact. With more resources and experience successful individuals often choose to give back to their communities, or contribute to important causes that matter to them.

World-renowned violinist, Dr. Quinton Morris, grew up being one of the only black kids in the Orchestra. His talent and passion and goal-setting abilities led him down many paths that have opened a lot of opportunities for him. Not only is he a tenured violin professor at Seattle University, he is the executive director and founder of Key to Change where he gives back to the community that raised him by uplifting and inspiring underserved youth to succeed as violinists.

His giving mentality doesn’t stop there; he also hosts a radio show on Classic King FM called Unmute the Voices where he features black musicians in the classical field sharing stories and experiences. All his work is dedicated to uplifting an underserved population in his field. Opportunities that wouldn’t be available to him without past success.

Looking for Balance

Both success and fulfillment mean different things to different people. Both provide a sense of satisfaction in certain areas of our lives, but it’s important to remember that one doesn’t necessarily feed the other. They can! And we would be wise to find ways to live that provide a meaningful and purposeful life.

Ask yourself…

• Is the person you see in the mirror both successful and fulfilled?
• Does this feel like a question you are capable of answering?

Distinguishing the difference can help you break down where you’re thriving and where your attention needs to go. It’s not an easy question to answer, but if you’re looking to live a more purposeful life then it’s worth your time to identify.

It’s time to start living and becoming the person you want to be. And that means letting go of others’ ideas of success and fulfillment and clarifying your own.

Finding Fulfilment Through Breathwork

Because your breath is a bridge between your internal and external worlds it offers great insight into the things that bring true fulfillment to your heart. Whenever I find myself questioning what I’m doing or if my efforts are in vain, I reflect back to simple coherent breathing patterns like 4x4 breathing. After just 5 minutes my mind is clear and my breath reminds me of my mission and purpose.

This is a gift you hold inside you right now.

By taking 5 minutes a day to connect to your breath and breathe into your inner world, you walk away recharged and realigned with your purpose.

If you are looking to bring more clarity to your life’s purpose so you can truly feel fulfilled, I suggest breathwork. In my youtube video, Hack your Subconscious Mind with 4x4 breathing, I help you get started down the path to finding greater fulfillment through your breath.