The Lazy Person’s Guide to Quickly Build Your Confidence

Building Habits the Lazy Way to Move You Towards Living with More Motivation.

This is going to be your year! You can feel it coming. 2020 was a complete bust, but now as the world slowly returns to some fashion of normal, you plan on making it your year. So many ideas fly through your head and you can visualize the onset of followers as millions race to hear your latest TEDtalk.

You can see great things for yourself and you deserve to achieve them. The world needs what you have to offer and you are ready to deliver.

Only one thing stands in your way.

Your habits.

All the intentions in the world can’t change your habits. You need a plan. You are tired and change can be downright exhausting! Yet in those moments of inspiration, you not only plan but execute small steps in the direction of your dreams.

• You got a planner for Christmas! Yet it sits unused under a stack of other gifts still waiting to be put away for over three months now.
• You bought two 3-pound hand weights last November! Yet they have found a home behind the coach where they lay with an even layer of dust keeping them warm.
• You ordered the book on mastering your mind everyone’s been raving about! Yet it rests on your nightstand still waiting to be read
• You invested in a 21-day online course in February! Yet you haven’t found the time to dedicate a half-hour to anything for 21 days.

You still plan on doing all these things!

…Someday.

In the future.

But all this means you know you are capable of so much more. Otherwise, why invest at all?

So the real issue here might be that you’re just a wee bit lazy.

Don’t go beating yourself up about it. I think the overachievers of the world could learn a thing or two from us couch dwellers. There is something to be said for slowing down and smelling the roses. This is assuming of course that you are smelling the roses, not just wasting away out of fear of not being enough.

According to healthline, laziness is often a sign of something more going on.

Depression, overwhelm, and underlying health conditions are some examples of why you can’t seem to get things moving. So don’t listen to the voice in your head telling you to just stop being lazy. Rather try and figure out why. When you make this mind-shift you will begin a new relationship towards self-confidence. You will be able to get to the root of an issue and be more productive.

Laziness is often born from procrastination. And procrastination is linked to feelings of overwhelm. Your motivation to get things done might appear on the outside as laziness when really it’s more accurately linked to fear of making the wrong choice.

Distractions are all around us, and there are endless tik tok’s to keep you entertained. Endless experts telling you the way. Endless books offering you guides. Endless choices!

Your mind is on overdrive and needs a break. That’s why we often don’t follow through on all our good intentions.

You are not lazy, you just need to start focusing on small steps to build up your confidence.

You can do each of these 5 things today, right now, and they will begin to turn your lazy days of good intention into productive days towards progress in your life.

1. Get Dressed

Get out of your pajamas. I’m not talking about your home sweats either. This is a challenge if you work from home, in fact, lounging in your sweats is a perk! However, it keeps you in a different frame of mind. A shower, a shave, a nice top can help you feel more confident.

You’ll be amazed at how grooming yourself boosts your mood and can completely turn your day around. As Zig Ziglar used to say, “It’s amazing what re-arranging the hairs on my wife’s head does for her. Why when she leaves the salon after getting her hair done she walks differently.”

I’m not suggesting spending any money, but dress how you want to feel and it’s hard to not feel more self-confident when you look good.

2. Ditch the Negative Self-Talk

“You would never talk to your friends the way you talk to yourself.”

The first time I heard that I cried. It’s so true! We use negative self-talk to keep us in our safe little lives where we can predict the outcome.

When you are constantly putting yourself down you trick yourself into not starting what could be a wonderful and worthwhile adventure. Your self-doubt is always going to be there, but the more you act in spite of those scary thoughts of failure and rejection and lack, the more you realize those things were never true in the first place.

See the ego has us believing that everything we think is true, but it’s not. We’ve spent most of our lives talking poorly to ourselves so it takes work.

Begin by simply noticing the moment your negative self-talk begins and then actively make an effort to stop before you spiral down an unnecessary hole.

The moment you start to think, “this is too hard” or “I can’t” stop! Just stop! The moment you notice the negative train your brain to find the positive.

Example.

• “This is too hard”-STOP! Replace “This is not so bad and I’m almost done.”
• “I can’t”-STOP! Replace, “I can do this. It’s fun to be new at something and figure it out.”

It takes some work. Try asking yourself what you would say to your best friend.

3. Be Nice

This is about the golden rule. Treat others the way you want to be treated. When you are kind, generous, and patient with others you will begin to see that reflected towards you. You are a good person, and when you focus on seeing what you have in common with others rather than what divides you, it will do wonders for your self-confidence.

I often make the mistake of getting sucked into the comment section on social media. I see how mean people can be when there is absolutely no consequence for their vile words. I feel rage grow inside me and I’m just an outside observer.

Why use your great power to divide and bring others down when you have the power to connect and help lift others up?

4. Let Perfectionism Go

I watched a time-lapse video of the process a fashion photo goes through before it goes to print. By the time the picture was billboard ready the editor had touched up EVERYTHING from her skin blemishes to the size of her waist, it didn’t even look like the same photo.

It made me realize that this perfect image of this beautiful model wasn’t even real. Half of what we see on the internet isn’t real either.

We spent so much time stopping ourselves before we even get started because we’re comparing ourselves to others who’ve been at it a lot longer than ourselves. Forgetting that they were once a novice too.

We use excuses like…

• My website will never be as polished as that one author who has 8 NY Bestsellers.
• I don’t have the right film equipment or a studio to make a Youtube video.
• I don’t know as much as someone else on the subject.
• I’m too old/young and that’s not what people want.
• I need to edit my material before anyone can see it.
• Somebody is already doing my idea.

These thoughts can be paralyzing. Perfectionism causes us to be overly critical of ourselves and that leads to negative self-talk, procrastination, depression, and anxiety. This looks like laziness because you are avoiding even beginning to avoid dealing with it being absolutely perfect.

My honeybunny is the best! He reminds me all the time of the beauty of trying new things and being bad at them. When we first started dating he put a guitar in my hands and taught me a riff. I was terrible! And frustrated and was getting irritated. He smiled at me and said, “You mean you’re not good at guitar after only one hour of practice?”

This leads me to the last point…

5. Be a Beginner!

This goes hand in hand with letting perfectionism go. Creating new habits and sticking to them is essential if you want to change the way things are. Trying new things is a must! You have to allow yourself to try and not worry about the outcome.

Once you begin to work through the mechanics of something that was once new you can mold it. Like riding a bike, or driving a car.

When I signed up for my first online writing course I had no idea what I was doing. It was powerful! It let my mind be free from the constraints of needing all the answers and allowed me to just play with it.

I read some stuff I wrote in the beginning and am both embarrassed and proud. It’s embarrassing because it’s clear I had no direction or form, and it makes me proud because I took a chance on it anyway.

I have an editor friend who’s really good at this stuff. She’s nice enough to read my work and help me grow. Although it makes me feel super vulnerable, it has also helped me to grow so much! Much further than I would have grown if I had waited until everything was polished and perfect.

Einstein had a trick we would use whenever he was having a hard time with a math problem. He would step away and do something new. Something to help his brain work in a different creative way, like playing music. After he let the stress go he was able to return to his work and make progress.

Sometimes the best way to move forward is to be a beginner.

You Are Enough!

You have many times in your life overcome something you didn’t know you could. And you have it within you to do it again. Instead of continually beating yourself up for being lazy or listening to outside voices and judgment, treat yourself with some compassion and understanding. It is bound to flow out of you and into your life. You are enough, and within you, you have the answers that will guide you forward to more self-confidence and productivity. Get out of your way and before you know it you will be making so much positive progress in your life that you will look back on today and see laziness was all in your head.

As Dr. Brene Brown says, “Loving ourselves through the process of owning our story is the bravest thing we will ever do.”